Multiplication Celebration!
by Hannahble
Summary: Hey! Lily! Do you like math?" "Uhh.... no. Why in the world would you ask me that?" Two pick up lines merged into a one- shot in story form. GREAT! Will be sequel if the nice people want me to. Rated T For sexual references and a little language.


**Hey! How's everyone? I'm currently waiting on romance for myself, so I wrote this when I saw this pick- up line… I burst out laughing at the idea (people looked at me funny….) (Wait, people always look at me funny…. ) Anyway!**

**Disclaimer: okay I don't own Harry Potter or the pick up line… so if anyone gets mad at me, I won't listen because I said right here I didn't make the pick up line up, only the story.…. ; - ) **

Multiplication Celebration! 

"Hey! Lily!" called out James Potter. Lily Evans, the enemy and object of affection for this certain man, rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"_What _Potter?"

"Do you like math?" his eyes were laughing and eager for her answer. Looking at him like he was from mars, she responded with, "Uhh….. No. Why in the world would you ask me that!?"

"Well," he started, looking fakely disappointedly at the ground, and then he slowly continued, breaking into a wide grin. "We could have had a Multiplication Celebration!"

"A multiplication what?" Lily was purely bewildered now. Not only was multiplication muggle, it was something Potter shouldn't even be capable of knowing of- no less a celebration for it…. Unless he didn't know what he was talking about? The light bulb turned on above Lily's head.

"Do you even know what multiplication is?" she asked and smirked, waiting for him to go 'uh…..'

Now it was his turn to look confused. "Yeah! You know, two times two is four…. Eight times eight is sixty- four… but that's not even what I'm talking about." He broke into his wide grin again. Lily's jaw dropped. Wait, then what was he talking about?

Noticing her confusion, he said, him now smirking, (what a stupid little cute exchange of smirking… NOT! As Sirius would say.) "Let me explain. Love is a sensation caused by temptation to feel penetration. A guy sticks his location into a girl's destination to increase the population for the next generation. Do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?"

Lily honestly got lost after something about penetration. What? Something about an explanation. Decided none of that had anything to do with math, she said, "That has NOTHING to do with math! What are you on Potter?"

Potter thought dirtily, _I think she needs a demonstration…. _But then he snapped himself out of it, and smirked realizing she had responded… wait, hold on a second… she hadn't slapped him for the rather inappropriate pick- up line. Ahh… she said that had nothing to do with math… _oh; she'll get it after this... He thought._

"Nothing, I swear Lily." He laughed for a split second, and then continued, "The celebration is for the four steps to the most important equation of all time."

"And what might that be, Potter?" she asked, sarcastically.

"First, you **add** a bed." Lily didn't think she was going to like where this was going…. "Second, you **subtract** of all clothing." Yeah… likes not- so- much…. "Third **divide** legs." WHAT?! "And the most important of all of them, **Multipl**-"

"JAMES POTTER!" That's what he meant! That- that- BASTARD! How dare he? WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING?!!!?!!!?

"What?" He started obliviously, "We're having a Multiplication Celebration! No need to be mad, I invited you, I just forgot the invitation." He looked like he wanted to burst out laughing. Her eyes flashed scarlet. But then, a light bulb once again seemed to go off on top of her head.

"Great I'd loved to go!" He snapped his head up from drifting off in Lily- dreamland… where she just said those words in his head… huh?

"What? Lily, do you fell okay?" He walked up and checked her temperature with a hand on her forehead.

"Yeah!" but then, she added in a lower and dangerously murderous tone, "But you won't." She kicked him in his shin. "And you're VERY lucky I didn't in perpetuity damage the future of your kids!" Then she stormed off.

**A/N: Whaddya think? Do you want me to make a sequel, when they get together? Review and tell me your thoughts… I had a lot of fun with this: o ). **


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